It's birthday season at my house

So, this is my first birthday with diabetes. It was Wednesday, actually. My birthday, that is. I was diagnosed around this time last year, but at least I got a birthday in. My son will be six next week. Man, the time flies. I got the diagnosis several days after his birthday last year.

So, seeing as I have a new lifestyle now, I decided not to make myself a birthday cake. This is a step out of tradition because I usually make a birthday cake for whoever's birthday it is. I thought I was doing really, really good all day Wednesday since I didn't have a cake sitting at home just waiting for me to eat the entire thing, which I probably would have. Anyway. So Wednesday night wound up being a little more stressful and disappointing that I had anticipated. I don't really expect much out of birthdays anymore. I'm 31 and they're just not what they used to be, you know? Anyway, so my husband is a funeral director and had to get a body so I had to eat my steak dinner alone. Well, my three-year-old was at the table with me playing her LeapPad, but still. So when hubby got home, I made a b-line for Sonic to get ice cream. I shouldn't have, but I was craving chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream and knew I had to get something in me or I'd burst. Well, I felt crappy afterwards. You know that I-ate-too-much-sugar-and-it-wasn't-really-worth-it feeling? Yeah, that's what I felt like. But I thought the ice cream would get the cake off my brain.

I was wrong. I couldn't get that damn chocolate cake and chocolate icing off my mind. So I went to WalMart last night to get a couple things after work and found myself in the bakery getting a f*%king chocolate cake! Ok, it wasn't really a big sheet cake or anything, but it was more than I needed. So I took it home and stuck it on the counter, scarfed down dinner (sausage, egg and cheese grilled sandwich a la my husband and so yummy!) and helped my son with his Valentines before watching Dancing With the Stars (my new guilty pleasure). I wound up eating that entire cake. Let me put the size in perspective, though, it was like the size of two pretty generous slices of a 9 x 13 cake. So we're not talking about anything totally outlandish here.

By the way, it was awesome. And totally worth it.

On the plus side, though, my fasting sugar was 102. I was surprised it wasn't much higher. And I haven't splurged all day. I wound up talking to co-workers for a bit as soon as I got to work, so I didn't even get my snack until mid-morning, which is actually when I should be eating, but tend to start pillaging as soon as I walk in the door.

So, like I said, I was jaw jacking with co-workers/friends this morning. Turns out that I haven't been privvy to some office gossip that's been going around for some time. And let me just say that I'm so freaking thrilled to not be involved in it. See, I had this job once where I got involved in gossip. Well, it was more like me and everybody dispising the boss and talking about her. So I vowed never to do that again. And I just realized this morning how un-complicated my work life is since I'm not involved in that crap.

Well, I've decided to torture myself this weekend. I'm driving the 45 minutes to the nearest mall to spend the birthday money mom gave me on new clothes. I've lost 50 lb. since my diagnosis and then got pregnant, so I'm in need of a new wardrobe. Actually, mom gave me money for Christmas, too, and I got quite a bit of clothes then. But I'm in need of a few more shirts. ANYWAY. To the torture part: I'm taking all three kids with me. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm crazy, too. However, a co-worker friend of mine is going to watch the big kids for a couple hours for me while I shop so that it's not too much torture.

I hope they'll let me take some pictures of them this weekend, too. I don't have any really good ones of all three kids together. Need to get some more of the baby smiling, too.