A conversation with God

(Ahem.) I don’t remember having ever begged you for anything. Please correct me if I’m wrong. I do remember asking repeatedly for things (sometimes for me and sometimes for others), but I don’t ever remember saying the things I’ve said lately: “Please, please, please. I really, really want this and here’s why…”

I know and respect that you have a plan for me. I know and respect that you have and will continue to give me choices. I understand that I’m at this point in my life and in my career for a reason. I understand that I’m supposed to be learning something. I just wish I could catch one break, though. I want to do right by my family. I’m not asking for a windfall, I’m asking to break even. I’m asking to not have to worry about being able to pay for car repairs or extra curricular activities for the kids while still budgeting for groceries and heating costs. I’m asking to not have to continually ask my parents for financial help. I know that could be seen as stubborn, but I’m old enough that I believe there are certain things I should be able to do on my own. Yes, it’s a pride thing, but pain is temporary and pride is forever. (Sheesh, maybe I should heed my own advice there! But how temporary is temporary? It’s all relative, I guess.)

I found something that I want pretty badly. The description seems *perfect* for me and my schedule. I could be wrong because that’s been known to happen, and I certainly don’t intend to question you. But this thing could be an answer to my prayers. This thing could bring more than just money to me and my family. And it’s not like it would be a great amount of money either. In addition to helping out financially, this would certainly give me a leg up career-wise in a number of ways.

I know that I’m good at what I do. I know that I would do this thing very well. I know that I just need someone to give me a chance. I knew (I think) when I chose this profession that I would be a dime a dozen, but I know that with a chance I can also be a diamond in the rough (I believe that to a certain degree I already am). I know that this might not be “The Thing” you want for me.

I would really like this to happen to/for me. I’m asking ever so nicely and repeatedly. I’m almost begging, even though I don’t want to be a begger because beggers can’t be choosers.

Thank you for listening.