Friday, October 13, 2006

Destructive behavior

Is it really true that anticipation of something perceived bad is really worse than the actual event?

I was looking on my calendar at home the other day and saw scrawled on Nov. 1 “Dr. C, 9 a.m.” I cringed. Dr. C is my endo. It would be a gross understatement to say that I’ve not been eating so good lately.

When I set up the appointment for November, I really thought that I would be on a better track than I was earlier this summer. Unfortunately, I’m on the same track: eating whatever I want whenever I want, checking my sugar maybe only once a day, not exercising, always taking my meds.

I keep saying that as soon as the baby starts sleeping through the night (yes, she was sleeping through for a long while and then she stopped!) it will be easier for me to wake up before dawn for my daily walks, which I truly, honestly miss. (Right now, it’s a struggle to wake up before 6:30 a.m.) And it seems that better eating habits will follow since exercise seems to motivate me in that regard.

I will face the music. I will not cancel my appointment. I will tell him the truth. I will try to remember how to have rules. I will get better at this.


At 4:39 PM, Blogger Tiger Willikers said...

I was just browsing through the BLOGs and found your entry about destructive eating! I'm a destructive eater too, but I have been working hard at changing some things since mid-April.

I wanted to tell you to be brave, and believe in yourself, and know that you find the way to change some things for yourself in a way that works for you.

I really related to your comments about your upcoming Dr. appointment and your ideas at the time of what changes would be working in your life right now.

Every single day that you do something that makes you feel victorious will push you along the path you long for. Even if you do it once for one hour and then neglect it again for 6 weeks. Never give up!!

At 12:00 AM, Blogger Scott K. Johnson said...

I'm in touch with you on this one too. I often see my upcoming endo appointment on my calendar, and think to myself "Waitaminute - is it that time ALREADY?!"

I too almost always leave the appointments with determination to do better - and more often than not, at least lately, I haven't quite "gotten around" to being better before that appointment is sneaking up on me again.

At 10:27 AM, Blogger amishhalfbreed said...

Ignorant as this may sound, I have the same trouble. Granted, I don't have diabetes (that's why this may sound ignorant) but I have let my weight get out of control, and while on one level it's not the same as maintaining diabetes, on another level it is - I have to watch what eat, promise to exercise and quit making excuses. Although I don't have a doctor to face, I have jeans that have no more give in them and therefore have to face the bitter truth on my own. Now, if I could just find a way to get started maybe then it wouldn't be so hard. I wish we lived closer - we could be workout buddies!
I am glad for you though that you are at least willing to own up to it by keeping your appointment.

At 12:03 PM, Blogger Minnesota Nice said...

exyboresybodeqxjxuqOh sister, I have already moved my last December appt out a month, figuring that I'll have the three months of NovDecJan to get my AlC back in shape (which means that I would, in theory, have the rest of October to stuff my face.............the term destructive eating really tells it like it is. I have a self-help book that uses the term "disordered eating", but in the case of those of us with DB, it really is "destructive".


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