(In)coherant rant

(Sorry, boys, if this is too much for your eyes.)

I can usually tell when my period is going to start. Aside from the fact that I keep track of the little booger on a calendar, usually a day or so before I turn into a ravenous fool eating nearly everything I can get my hands on. That’s my first clue. Then there’s the cramping and general unpleasant attitude. It’s not long before the real fun starts—the day before or the day of my fasting spikes over 200.

So this cycle, my little friend decides to show up 10 days late (no worries, The Mr. got fixed last summer). I kept waiting, waiting, waiting for that 200 spike to signal that I need to be on guard. Nada. In fact, I enjoyed several days of fastings in the 80s and 90s. I knew something weird was going on, but I couldn’t really put my finger on it.

Interesingly, I read a post on one of my favorite sites—Diabetic Mommy—where a woman said that sometimes her sugars go up during her cycle and sometimes down, and there is really no pattern. This was incredible news to me because all I had ever heard or knew was that sugars went up during this time, people were adjusting basal rates and that all hell was breaking loose with blood sugars thanks to our lovely hormones.

OK, so here I am roughly the third morning of my cycle. Monday’s fasting? 61; weird, but it was later than usual since I didn’t have to go to work. Tuesday? 143; probably some period-related crap going on there, but whatever. Wednesday? 2 freaking 19! That’s right 219! Oh my God, I could have smashed my meter into the kitchen counter. Actually, I did stomp my feet and scream several times after that because I banged my knee twice! in the same place.

Let me just say for the record, because I’m not really sure if I ever have, that I HATE THIS! I FREAKING HATE DIABETES! Today, I even hate the word diabetes. It sounds so sickenly sick to me today. I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!

Granted, I have been incredibly angry at diabetes in the past and have more than once wanted to throw my meter at the wall, but I don’t know that the words “I hate diabetes” have ever crossed my lips or that my fingers have ever typed them. I feel remarkably calm now having said that.

Weird dreams

Last night's roundup:

Weird dream No. 1: Gas was $6.25 a gallon!

Weird dream No. 2: I was in some sort of military outfit comprised of all or mostly women. I was in a boot camp-like setting and getting my uniform. Here's the weird part--the uniform was tightish khaki pants, high heeled cowboy boots and a bomber jacket. But no shirt. (The Mr. really liked that dream!)

Weird dream No. 3: I was lost. I had the baby with me. At least I think it was the baby; at some points it might have been No. 2. We were walking, walking, walking. I think we had been waiting for a car repair. I didn't have a cell phone, purse, diaper bag or anything. "Suddenly" I saw the name of a street near where I grew up. I walked down that street and then came to what I think was the downtown area from my hometown. I begged someone for quarters to use a pay phone and I think the number I called was my own cell phone number. Then I realized that I couldn't use quarters in the pay phone, I had to use a token. So I put the quarter in the phone and a token came out of the change return slot. And then I put the token in the phone and it worked. I think I talked to my dad. So someone was going to come pick me up, and when I hung up there was a Mardi Gras type atmosphere and it was late, late at night. I lost track of the dream at that point.

Sharing time--gimme all your kidisms!

This post had me laughing so hysterically that people from all corners of the office came running to see what the heck was going on in my office!

Aside from the great laugh (you must be sure to also read the comments as some are equally hysterical), it got me thinking that there are some incredible kidisms out there that we are selfishly keeping to ourselves.

Please comment with your favorite one-liner, perfectly placed cuss word or other amusing kidism. I'll even pass out a cyber award to the one that makes me laugh the most. Ready? Set. Go!

Ode to me

Birthdays. I’ve passed some milestones—16, 18, 21, and (sigh) 30. I don’t really look forward to them anymore. I mean, it’s a special day and all, but it’s not like I get overly excited or anything. OK, maybe a little.

When my friend asked me what I’m going to do today, I told her “Nothing much. Watch Grey’s Anatomy, eat cake, go out to lunch with work and dinner with the family.” Nothing much. Pretty much a normal Thursday. Except for the cake. And the meals out. And the constant array of “Happy Birthday!”

Then yesterday, Mom’s birthday card arrived in the mail. And it was so, so silly. I read it over and over, and couldn’t wait to share it with The Mr. And seriously considered scanning it in to share with the blog world, but I decided that might be going a little overboard. The card came complete with a check, which I wasn’t expecting. (Thanks, Mom!!)

“I can get online and get that coat that I saw on sale today!” I exclaimed to The Mr.

So even before dinner, I raided one of my favorite Web sites and clicked on that coat. Rats! They were out of the color I wanted, but I still got one that wasn’t drab black or grey (I’m desperately trying to get more color into my wardrobe). While I was there, I decided to do some more shopping. I mean, after all, I had birthday money to spend.

The problem? I’m so ridiculously practical about nearly everything that it’s, well, ridiculous. I searched through sale items only and after picking out three things and not even spending half my money, I actually considered putting at least one item back ($11 in shipping!). I had to convince myself that this money was for me and that shopping was what it was for.

Then I started to think about putting the rest of the money in the bank and just spending it on bills or other ridiculously practical things. Trying to think of something I want that’s just for me, that’s something special was actually kind of hard. I had sarcastically mentioned to a friend the other day that since I’ll be starting my morning walks again soon (have to say goodbye to this sub zero weather we’re having first!) I should get myself an iPod. But I couldn’t practically convince myself that I needed/wanted an iPod just for my walks. Not to mention the fact that at 6 a.m. when it can still be pretty dark (especially in the winter), I like to hear what’s going on around me. Never mind that I normally have a dog with me and that bad people are often deterred by big animals that bite.

So, I’ll deposit half of my birthday money to cover what I already spent and get cash for the rest. That might be dangerous, but I’m hoping that in the next week, I’ll think of something that I forgot I simply can’t live without.

Oh, I have to mention that today is my wonderful sissy’s birthday, too. (No, we’re not twins.) Enjoy your 20’s for one more year. Hahahahahaha!